Hercules

2014 brought not one but two Hercules films. The Legend of Hercules released back in January was terrible. I had higher hopes for this one starring my man Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and based on a kick butt graphic novel. But were my hopes met?



Hercules has it tough. Sure he's a demigod but lets take some things into account: He never knew his father, his step mom (the goddess Hera) is jealous of him and wants to kill him, the only way to stem Hera's wrath is to complete twelve incredible labors. After completing the labors he may or may not have gone temporarily insane and murdered his wife and children. Yeah poor Herc has it tough, but he's now traveling as a mercenary trying to earn enough money to live out the rest of his life in exile. But when the world needs a hero...

I think the January Hercules took itself way too seriously. This Hercules corrects this and doesn't take itself seriously at all. It's as much a comedy as anything. And that is OK. It deconstructs Hercules legend into semi logical and realistic roots. It's not a brilliant movie but it does what it means to do and truly entertains. B

The Purge: Anarchy

Unpopular confession: I loved The Purge. I think it was a brilliant movie. The thing people don't think about when they complain about the Purge is that it was made on the minuscule budget of 3 million dollars. Ethan Hawk starred for free with a deal to benefit from the profits. It was a compelling concept that had to be made smartly. The only reason people didn't like it is because you had to listen, pay attention, and think about everything being said or hinted at, and people don't want to think. They want a purge, a mindless bloodfest filled with empty brutality. Or they want brainless Bayist explosions... Now I'm going to stop complaining about people who didn't like the first Purge and actually review the second.



It's twelve months after the last purge. America still enjoys a flourishing economy and a crime free society the other 364 days of the year. But what if it's not because the Purge allows people to release their aggression but because the people killed during the Purge are the poor and undesirable? Is it OK to Purge for certain reasons? If you get stuck outside, do you help or raise hell? These are all situations that several people will have to face during this monumental purge. This night their lives will change...if they can survive the night...

I was tentative about Anarchy. It looked like they made the movie people wanted and ignored the message they tried to communicate in the original. I have to say they made both. The street point of view is a much better soapbox and they still offer quite a sermon on class warfare and violence in America. (Side Note: I nominate Frank Grillo as the next Punisher because he is kick butt in this.) It's message hit home especially poignantly as while I walked out the theater I observed a boy no older then 10 walking with his parents talking about how cool the Purge was.   A

Snowpiercer

Snowpiercer was a movie I almost missed. I saw one trailer and while intrigued by its premise it seemed to be uninspiring. Then reviews and audience reactions surfaced (it currently holds a 94% on rottentomatoes) and I knew I had to pay attention. Now after seeing it thanks to VOD I'm left feeling.....underwhelmed. Confused.

It's the near future. Humanity is panicked by global warming and coats the atmosphere with a substance to cool the earth... It backfires and sends the planet into an ice age. The remnant of humanity survives on a super sized train that constantly circles the planet yearly. Now after 17 years, the passengers at the rear of the train are sick of being abused, neglected, and regulated by the occupants of the 'first class' passengers. Curtis Everett is ready to march to the front, take the engine, and make things right. But its a long trip to the front, and this ain't your normal train.

I was excited to see Snowpiercer. Once I saw its star studded cast and glowing reviews I began to build high hopes. In some aspects, Snowpiercer was an incredible movie. Sometimes it felt like completely contrived syfy drivel. The quieter moments of Chris Evans tearful confession, ("I know what people taste like." is one of the most chilling and heartbreaking lines ever delivered.) the ridiculousness of Tilda Swinton, and the menacing Ed Harris are all flawless. The sweeping syfy attempts fall short. The ending is especially disappointing. Here's a movie that should have spent less time on set pieces and more time between characters but all in all it's still far from a terrible movie. B-

Film Freak: A Year in Review

Well friends, I bet you didn't realize that a year ago I started my movie reviewing blog. I figured if I was going to go every week to the movies I might as well tell people what I think. Well I thought I would give everyone who has been keeping up a little update.

My first blog post was The Lone Ranger and the Critics NAM Syndrome on July 6th, 2013. I tried to keep coming up with clever lines to include in the titles (Like R.I.P.D. Dead on Arrival) but I dropped that quick when I realized I wasn't clever enough to do it for every movie.

The Lone Ranger remains the most viewed post with 27 views. The top ten list of my 59 posts looks like this:

1. The Lone Ranger
2. The Conjuring    
3. We're the Millers      
4. Despicable Me 2
5. The Wolverine              
6. Red 2            
7. Pacific Rim            
8. Noah
9. Captain Phillips
10. Elysium                

I have a grand total of 1,423 views.

By country:

United States	1177
Russia	46
United Kingdom	37
Malaysia	37
Serbia	30
Germany	23
Netherlands	14
France	7
Spain	6
Lithuania	4

By month:

July: 331

August: 272

September: 101

October: 150

November: 22

December: 166

January: 136

February: 2

March: 23

April: 63

May: 33

June: 116

And that's how the year was. Thanks for reading and keeping up!

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Sigh... remakes and reboots are tedious... That's why they rarely work. As much as I love Spider Man you cant watch the reboot without thinking about where you first watched Toby McGuire kissed Kirsten Dunst in the first movie. That's why when you have a piece of cinematic history that is Charlton Heston damning humanity to hell on a beach in front of the statue of liberty its very hard to rise to that same level. It's why no one remembers the nightmare that was Tim Burtons 2001 Planet of the Apes remake. After ten years though Rise proved that there was still a story to be told, a good one. Now in 2014, a great story is told.



It's been five years since Caesar famously led the free smart apes across the Golden Gate bridge to freedom in the redwoods. The deadly simian flu has wiped out most of humanity and the apes live in peace. One day a chance encounter with humans and a gun fired in fear shatters the peace and tranquility. Can ape and man finally put aside their differences and live in peace? As Caesar said in Rise: NOOOO!

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is a movie that I've been looking forward to but not really paying any attention to. In the beginning of the year it was Captain America 2, Godzilla, and X-Men Days of Future Past and when I looked to fall it is Guardians of the Galaxy, Interstellar, and Mockingjay. An at the end I added, "oh yeah, and Planet of the Apes." Then I caught the buzz. Rewatched the trailers. And suddenly I started paying attention to July 12. I can now say that Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is the best movie of the year so far. It is the best Planet of the Apes movie bar none. It deserves an Oscar nod for best picture, everything technical, and had better earn Andy Serkis his LONG overdue Best Actor nod. I said back in May that Godzilla was the first Must See of the Summer. Now I'm saying Dawn is the TRUE MUST SEE.  I could go on and on about the drama characters, the fantastic opening and closing, or the two really great tracking shots that seriously left me speechless. I could go on about how seeing an ape riding a horse with a machine gun in each hand didn't make me laugh but elicited true fear. (That's not a sentence I ever thought I'd say) But I wont. Here's what I have to say about Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: It's not just a good action movie.It's not just a good syfy movie. It's a freaking GREAT movie by any standards. Long live the reign of the apes. A+

Exists (due out October)

This is the first movie that I was lucky enough to screen long before its release in October. I went in tentatively as I have never seen a good movie that dealt with Bigfoot. Considering this was made by the man behind The Blair Witch Project, I should have figured if there was someone who could pull off a found footage type of film about Bigfoot, Eduardo Sanchez is that someone.

Don't want to give away too much of the story here. It's a simple set up: 20 somethings secretly go to remote location to party, one is obsessed with filming everything, they piss off Bigfoot, chaos ensues.

As I said I went into the theater a little nervous about how they were going to capture something as iconic as Bigfoot on film. The premise is a simple but believable one. And the suspense is palpable. Sanchez does a brilliant take on Spielberg shark tactic; let the audience build up this monster in their minds before you knock them out with the real thing. And the beast is fantastic. He also does a great thing by supplying a soundtrack to a found footage film but a subtle one and it doesn't take you out of the moment, it sucks you in. The acting can sometime feel forced but the suspense and fear is completely genuine. A-

Think Like A Man Too

To be honest I have never seen Think Like A Man.  I almost didn't see Too but did out of sheer boredom. I had heard nothing but the greatest about the original and I like both Kevin Hart and Micheal Ealy so I kinda had some hopes it would be good. I was worried that not seeing the original would make the sequel confusing. But no worries, the only thing I was confused about was why I was still so bored.



The old crew is back together. For a wedding! In Vegas! Cedric is still Cedric and obsessed with being the best Best Man. Candace and Micheal are getting married. Dominic and Lauren's relationship is strained by job offers. Jeremy and Kristen are married and struggling to have a baby. All this is being dealt with in the 24 hours before Candace and Micheal's wedding in which both the guys and girls will compete to see who can have the most outlandish bachelor/bachelorette party. Hijinks, of course, ensue.

I wanted to like this movie, but to be honest it was down right boring. It was predictable in all the wrong ways and original in none of them. Kevin Hart brings his fantastic energy to the screen but not even that can make this pop. One of the requirements of a RomCom is that second part: Comedy. It's not a Romantic Comedy if its not funny and rarely is the time that I even chuckled at Think Like a Man Too.  C-